I know that no one here loves me for two reasons. First, whenever it is time for lunch everyone goes out without me. Usually to McDonalds, but recently they have discovered a BBQ restaurant serving delectable meats smothered in spicy sauces. I have not been invited. I am the only African American male in this office and I am being denied pork and beef. Nobody loves me.
Second, this past weekend my moral standards were wickedly corrupted as I succumbed to the dancing Mohito. First there was a glass. One which I finished and swore to be my last drink of the evening. Then there was another dancing Mohito. When they dance you have to drink them…it would be rude to do otherwise. Then there was a dancing pitcher. Then there was a dancing restaurant. Nobody loves me.